I Wish I Were Fluent In ASL

new perceptions

2011-09-04T15:35:00.002-04:00

I have so much on my mind right now! I wish I had more time/less work so I could really pour my thoughts out, but this shortie message will have to do...

1) Everyone has "issues" - call them what you will. It's true. If you think that your neighbor, coworker, lover, mother, etc, is in total happiness... utter bliss... blahblah... think again. I don't mean to say that they may not be happy, but I should emphasize that we all have challenges. C'est la vie, right? That's how it goes, and we all work with what we got. The truth is that we all face problems in our everyday lives. And you don't know what your neighbor, coworker, lover, mother is going through on any given day (well, hopefully your lover at least shares his/her perspectives with you).

2) On a related note, perception is reality, they say. And yes, while I advise people to recognize that it can be important to consider how others may perceive your behavior.... more importantly I just want to emphasize that your perception of things may be warped. What is reality? I'm not here to chat about that, but I am learning so much that what I might perceived is not how it really is... or is meant to be... ?? I am not typing logically and organized, but I hope I make some sense. It's hard to imagine walking around in anyone's shoes but your own. At the end of the day, there is so much I don't know.

3) I look forward to the day when I can come home and do NOTHING related to work. Hopefully within 5 years haha!

Clear?

2011-05-25T11:11:00.003-04:00

Here is a tip for working with people who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing who use ASL.... (interpreters, SLPs, OTs, Teachers of the Deaf.... especially those just starting out....)

My buddy Eric (future certified ASL Interpreter!) passed this tip on to me, and I felt the need to share it with any colleagues.

When explaining something in a second language of yours, things don't always come out how you intend. Perhaps you are doing the very best you can, but some people still are not quite getting what you are talking about. The miscommunication may be an error on your part or an error on the language reception of the "listener." Either way, something isn't quite getting through.

Often, people who use ASL will express some level of confusion on their faces, and it is important for the "speaker" to confirm adequate communication exchange is occurring. He or she will rely on feedback from the "listener" (i.e. facial expressions, head nods...) to judge the successful reception of the message. And often times, this may come in the form of UNDERSTAND??

The truth is that when people are asked, "Do you understand?" a likely answer may be "yes." Any other response may be implying the incompetence, ignorance, or language impairment of the individual. This focuses on the "listener's" knowledge and skills and removes any responsibility from the "speaker" (who may or may not be to blame for a misunderstanding).

Instead, consider asking for confirmation in the form of CLEAR?? This allows the "listener" to respond more honestly without implying his or her lack of intelligence! It may be any one communicator's or the complexity of the content's fault for a misunderstanding.

Michelle, MS, CF-SLP

2011-05-25T11:10:00.000-04:00

BALLLERRR

2011-04-13T22:19:00.000-04:00

turning into a bad night. i am pretty sure i am not cut out for slp. and i seem to be having more miscommunications with kevin than ever.

Deaf- and/or SLP-related notes

2011-01-22T10:47:00.004-05:00

Ok, I reallllllly do have a lot of information/reflections I want to post! So keep checking for more info as time goes by. I am officially making it a New Years resolution to be more consistent here.

Right now, as I "study" for orals, I am finding SO many great sources online for SLPs. I just wish I knew what I should be memorizing instead of everything.

cool handouts (with a free registration):

http://www.superduperinc.com/Handouts/Handout.aspx

cool stuff for SLPs doing IEPs (in Wisconsin...) - see phonetic development chart and normal curve statistics sheets...

http://dpi.wi.gov/sped/pdf/slguide.pdf

LOADs of stuff - from reference info to activity ideas:

http://speech-language-therapy.com/whatshere.htm

my new favorite blog! free materials with subscription:

http://www.speechtherapyideas.com/

"You know a lot more than you think you do"

2011-01-22T10:33:00.002-05:00

I hear this sentence often. Everyone in my program does. And I believe it, don't get me wrong. Of course it's all relative. I know more than the "average" parent about the typical language development of someone their child's age... whatever "average" means. And I get that I have more knowledge of what's going on in the body related to hearing loss, and how that affects language development, not to mention social-emotional development and the cultural components that you can't ignore. But do I really know anything?

When I talk to non-SLPs or people naive to the Deaf world, I get a lot of respect. "I can see you are really passionate about this!" People understand what I am saying and appreciate my level of sensitivity and concern.

Perhaps this is because I step out of student/SLP/professional mode and step into a casual/informal/sincere mode. I'm noticing it can be a challenge in itself to be professional and confident at the same time. "Not my thing," as I usually say when discussing anything out of my scope of being (i.e. alcohol, sports, cars, etc. ;-)

When I talk to my peers or supervisors or faculty, I fall apart, I guess. A wise friend once said to me, "Fake it til you make it"... referring to confidence, in case you haven't heard that line before. And I honestly try! I walk out of my meetings feeling great, thinking I ask intelligent, provoking questions, thinking I left the impression that I knew what I was doing and expressed an appropriate level of rational thought, creativity, knowledge, depth, consideration, etc. But it seems that without any exception, the truth of the matter is that I walk away, and the supervisors more than likely discuss how I couldn't possibly have been more disappointing.

Okok, well, maybe not that far. I always get positive + negative feedback. Though I think that is an SLP thing. "I like how you said your good /s/ sound on the first one, but I didn't hear it for the next 29 words!" yeayeayea. okok. Again and again, I just get slammed to the floor. This isn't for me, I get it. Story of my life.

My CI textbook.

2010-12-16T14:36:00.007-05:00

"In a comparative study of parental stress in mothers of preschoolers from three groups (i.e. healthy, hearing impaired, seizure disorders), mothers of children with sensationalist hearing loss reported the highest level of parenting stress on a standardized instrument and the greatest number of depressive symptoms"

"Preliminary data on the impact of cochlear implants on the family indicate a substantial reduction in parental stress and depression in this group, although there is considerable variance in stress ratings likely modified by a range of factors.... Given the data indicating that maternal stress and depression directly impact children's emotional and behavioral development, it is critical that aspects of family function be considered and addressed with objective studies of outcome achieved with cochlear implantations."

Nancy Mellon, MS from Chapter 9 "Parental Response to the Diagnosis of Hearing Loss" (p. 147 & 148) in my Cochlear Implants textbook (Niparko Ed., 2nd Ed., 2009)

She refers to: Quittner A, Glueckauf R, Jackson D. Chronic parenting stress: moderating vs. mediating effects of social support. J Personality Social Psychol 1990;59:1266-1278.

and to: Quitter A, Steck J, Rouiller R. Cochlear implants in children: a study of parental stress and adjustment. Am J Otol, 1991;12(Suppl):95-104.

I just thought this was... interesting.... But it should be noted that this textbook is RIDDEN with biases! And just mean comments about the Deaf world. But I suppose any CI textbook would be. You can borrow it if you want!

2010-11-09T18:13:00.002-05:00

So I need to remind myself DAILY that it is VERY ok to not love every (thousands of) aspect of speech-language pathology. Deaf, stroke, TBI, early intervention, language delay, autism, PDD, elderly, hearing loss, NICU, sensory stim, alternative audmentative communication, blahblahblah

It's OK!

2010-11-07T12:21:00.002-05:00

The Value of Baby Sign

2010-11-07T11:24:00.003-05:00

ASHA CONVENTION OR BUST!

Come see us- 2220

SA 9:30AM-10:30AM, Seminar 1 HR, Marr/Salon E

About Baby Signing

Brenda Seal, Gallaudet U, Washington, DC; YK

An, James Madison U, Harrisonburg, VA; Michelle

Brown, Gallaudet U, Washington, DC; Alison Gannon,

Gallaudet U, Washington, DC

Abundant anecdotal, but little empirical, evidence

promotes baby signing for a language-literacy

“advantage” in typically developing infants. This

session addresses previous and current research

directions and offers suggestions and cautions for

working with parents on signing choices, approaches,

and probable outcomes. Potential generalization to

clinical populations will be suggested.

As I do more research into the success of Baby Sign, some research hypothesizes why babies who sign have an advantage (see Goodwyn, Acredolo, and Brown, 2000). Fascinating! What it comes down to is scaffolding and reinforcement. What does this all mean? The developing baby brain is learning to interpret the world he is experiencing through interaction. Go read about Vygotsky's ideas. The babies who learn some sign can express just a little about how they are experiencing the world. And with that, parents can focus on their babies' expression, reinforce the vocabulary and elaborate and expand on their "utterances." This also allows for a child-centered approach, building on what the infant is interested in rather than telling them what they should be interested in.

The article highlights that Baby Sign allows babies to have their needs met without crying (WATER), to express how they feel (the doll is SCARY), clarify their needs (using specific signs, e.g. CHEERIOS), be more active participants during book-reading, clarify their initial verbal labels (i.e. if they sign when the begin to talk, the sign can clarify what they are saying if it is unintelligible).

What it comes down to is that parents are offering more opportunity for their babies to contribute (receptively and expressively) in conversation, control their environment, and therefore, allow them to be happier babies... ? In addition, more opportunities exist for parents to respond to their babies' comments. This allows the babies more directed, scaffolded learning opportunities for language development as they hear more language in general - parents are focusing on expanding and elaborating on their child's expression. It comes down to exposure!

Goodwyn, S. W., Acredolo, L. P., & Brown, C. A. ( 2000). Impact of symbolic gesturing on early language development. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 24, 81–103.

Who is Elena Ruiz?

2010-11-03T21:27:00.001-04:00

http://www.thebuffandblue.net/?p=4083

the difference between you and me

2010-08-29T15:46:00.004-04:00

Storytime

Yesterday, I was talking to a hearing student who works on campus. He told me that a customer (ignorantly) approached him, assumed he is deaf, and spoke to him with exaggerated lipping. He responded with sign, telling the customer he didn't understand. He says he chooses to not use his hearing ability on campus.

My two cents.

I totally disrespect the customer for his approach to the situation. He obviously has no idea what is going on. Or what he is doing. If he knew NO sign, I think, on a Deaf campus, writing the request is much more accepted. It eliminates the dependency on oral communication. I can imagine how the store clerk may be offended. I get it. But I DON'T respect the clerk's response. At all. The thing is is that he CAN hear. He can understand that request from the customer. He could respond using sign or writing it down (or writing down a request that the customer writes!).

And as I said, the customer is OBVIOUSLY ignorant. So what are you doing to fight that? To help him overcome his ignorance? To prevent him from offending others? Nothing. You are ignoring the situation. As a student on campus, driven to help the clear communication between hearing and deaf across the world, how can this situation be avoided? It's true, in my opinion, that both sides of the table handled it poorly. The blind leading the blind? heh. Maybe take the time to educate others?

I don't see how you can be offended by someone who is so ignorant - who maybe has no clue that he is being offensive - and not want to give him maybe some cultural capital. Cause he's got none. And I think that spreading the knowledge would truly help the acceptance and understanding of both perspectives.

Thoughts?

the deaf and hearing on campus

2010-08-29T15:11:00.003-04:00

So as I may or may not have mentioned, Galladuet is a Deaf community. It is the hub of loads of Deaf advocates, activists, radicals, extremists, etc. I love 'em! This is what got me interested in Deaf culture. The balance and cooperation between the Hearing and Deaf worlds. How does this (invisible) minority -and others- make their way to gain what is called "functional equivalent" communication technology, how do they use their "voice" to maintain equal rights, how do they (in general) make their lives within a larger Hearing world.

But many of these Deaf rights and functional equivalencies are not relevant in the Deaf-majority community on Galladuet's campus. All the residents get a chance to lose that greater-society-implied label of "disability." Hearing is no longer an advantage. Sound is irrelevant. Campus is all about visual communication. Lights as doorbells, fire alarms; hitting the table let's your buddy feel the vibrations and can call his attention; glass windows, doors, and walls are no barrier at all for a brief chat with your partner before class starts.

No one is bothered by loud music at night, burping is less obnoxious (?), the TV can't be too loud, and no one is blabbering on their cell phones!!

But what about the hearing kids? Wait a second. Are they ever bothered by loud music at night? Do they find your burping obnoxious? Do they want the TV down while studying? And don't they talk on cell phones? What happened to equal rights?

Here is the deal.

As I was told week 1, no one should be talking on their cell phones on campus. If you have to, find a private place! Preferably indoors. Or in your own room. People might give you looks. Might (as I heard yesterday) though shit at you in the cafeteria! In fact, there is no talking on campus at all. Get those hands up! I've been told it's because of the limited access to communication when you are talking. I'm not which is more taboo- phone or talking- but I'd be interested to learn.

May it reminds these radicals of their "oppressed" lives off campus? Growing up? They can't use the phone the way hearing kids can? and ya know what, I totally respect that! It's like you visit a buddy's house and start speaking a foreign language on the phone during dinner. Just rude. How dare you come into MY house, MY territory. Where I can FINALLY be among people of similar experiences, similar views, similar language!!! And you walk in and bring in a piece of that outside world that tried so hard to change who I was and how I live.

My two cents.

But the thing is, people who react to phone conversations by throwing shit have a lot of growing up to do. Those hearing kids should have their rights, too. They wanna make a call? What's it to you? This ISN'T your house. It's a community. We all live together. Obviously that hearing student isn't ignorant about Deaf culture, the social experiences you may have been through, the norms people may have tried to force you into. That kid chose GALLAUDET to complete his study. I'm sure he has some idea about where he is. And why he is there.

People will always be talking on phones. Some people will always be hearing. It's not their fault, just like being Deaf is not your fault. Let it be his choice to fully immerse himself in Deaf life or to simply enjoy living in (and accepted by?) the Deaf community. Is it impossible? What do you think?

stupid freshmen

2010-08-21T15:20:00.004-04:00

So we've all heard stories about Gallaudet freshmen. Most often discussed (to me) is that they are known for pulling false fire alarms at all hours of the night. This has been happening for YEARS. The freshmen classes are renown for that. There are signs posted next to each alarm warning suspension or expulsion from school for pulling a false fire alarm now. I wonder if the alarms bother hearing or deaf kids more... either way, you're woken up in the middle of the night and have to evacuate. Sucks if you got 8am class.

I've been told that these freshmen also know how to party. Or think they do? Getting drunk every night, party party party, making out, sleeping around, what do I know. I just hear stories, and the scene is definitely too cool for me.

Once (or twice?) a year, the freshmen also will dye their hair (men and women) and then shave it off (men and women). But everybody's doin' it, Mom!

I'm not exactly sure why. Why the alarms, the parties, the shaved heads- and probably many more things out of the ordinary that I am not allowed to know about (as a hearing kid, living off campus, graduate student?). I've asked around for others' opinions on the subject. What they tel me is that every year, the freshman class tries to "outdo" the previous class. Get more strikes against them, have badder parties, be more crazy, more often.

Apparently both last year and this year, someone smeared FECES on the buttons in one of the elevators in the dorm. SERIOUSLY? I think you all can guess my opinion here. What do you all think? Funny or freaky?

But why? Why is this so important to be more off-the-wall? What my buddies come up with is that this is the way freshmen rebel. I suppose they are rebelling against what society has expected of them, pressured them to become, forced them to stay out of, or grown to antagonize. And ya know what, I totally respect that. Kids get a chance to move out of their parents home, find other buddies that are just like them, who have similar experiences, similar habits, who understand them better than their own families. Of course they want to experiment with limits and boundaries, with obligations and labels. With sexuality and debauchery. But POO in the ELEVATOR? Really? Shit? From your ass? Is that worth it?

Honestly, I think that if you want to change how you look or act to be different than everyone else for the sake of finding your identity, totally cool with me. Do what you gotta do. BUT, if you go so far, and plan, and execute, a shitty idea that is so disrespectful to others??! FUCK YOU, I say. And I'm not the one who has to live in your dorm, use your elevator, clean up your shit. I can't imagine how they feel. Some prolly cheer for you, but others prolly hate you. Idiot.

Another buddy brought up a REALLY good point. A LOTTTT of Gallaudet students get a sweet financial aid package. And they depend on that to even go to classes. And the truth is, when something is handed to you for free, you treat it a lot differently than if you were paying for it. You'd want to get your money's worth. You would have more respect for the goods you paid for. You earned that cash and now you decided this route- you better take advantage of each day and not miss a class unless you are bleeding! Heh. So maybe they might not value the situation they are so generously placed into? They decide to go on to an institution of higher learning. Some will take the offer with open arms and enjoy it and graduate and LEARN something. Some will decide to go on because someone else told them they have to, to go get laid, to go get drunk, enjoy it and maybe graduate. Hmm. Curious. What do you think?

expressing yourself

2010-08-15T01:30:00.002-04:00

I haven't really had the motivation to write in the blog recently. And tonight I am kind of forcing it out of myself, but here goes.

It is hard enough to express myself in English. Can you imagine me trying to get it out in another language? No way, man. O, so you think I'm funny? Somehow your sense of humor is lost cross-language. And I can imagine this to be true. Humor can be quite a complex concept. And often time linguistically complex, too. I just don't seem to be that funny in ASL. Comes out wrong... boo

Also, it can be tough to express your intelligence. Think about it. I've been "learning" ASL for about 3 years? 4 years? Imagine a 3 or 4 year old. You think they are funny?? haha. You think they can express how smart a 23 year old is using their 4 year old language?

Of course this is all a stretch. In the end, my point is that I need to study more. My personality doesn't really shine in my sign. I need to work on that. Expression. No good, man. I think, at least, that I am maintaining my signing skills... not losing too much.

I think I depend too much on English, really. I need to just get that outta my thoughts and think in ASL! Think VISUAL!

so much potential

2010-06-16T20:08:00.003-04:00

he is so amazing. my one true love. everything I've ever wanted. extremely intelligent, self-aware, well-read, handsome, creative, curious, brave, loves the earth and hates the MAN.

there is so much potential. I want to scream to everyone how fantastic he is. show him off to the world! he's all that I could have ever asked for. right? we're almost to bliss, but he is holding himself back. from success.. ? holding us back?

Come see a documentary

2010-06-05T14:47:00.003-04:00

http://www.seewhatimsayingmovie.com/screenings.html

http://www.afi.com/silver/new/nowplaying/2010/v7i2/idff10.aspx

as I King Jordan said.. Deaf people can do anything but hear

Communication solves world problems?

2010-05-16T21:35:00.004-04:00

This is similar to a post from December... but whatever.

Some say that money is the root of all evil. Some say that people are innately good.
Either way, I believe without a doubt that all problems in the world are due to
miscommunication. In some way or another, all wars, battles, arguments, and
judgments are based on some levels of man not understanding, or not trying to
understand, fellow man. Studying speech-language pathology (or "communication
therapy") has taught me a simple part of language that can have huge altercations-
Taking the listener's perspective. If we all could learn a little more about our
audiences, about the rationale of who that person/group of people is/are, the
world would be a better place. I am pursuing this field in hopes to one day, bridge
the gap between hearing and Deaf culture (which is wildly more fascinated and
alienated than I had ever realized).

and we're back

2010-05-13T11:49:00.006-04:00

Now that I have had a week break, I think I am back in a good mood. I've been sleeping about 9 hours a night and I am enjoying a life without SOAPs or lesson plans or children :-)

AND I've found a gold mine of cool ASL articles in the Sign Language Studies that Gallaudet publishes. Right now I am reading "Language and Literacy Acquisition through Parental Mediation in American Sign Language" (2009), but there are plenty more where that came from. [Email me if you want a copy... don't tell anyone where you got it!]

I was just thinking about how it can be a challenge to keep up with a conversation in a group of Deaf people. I mean, the conversation jumps so fast [::eyes move like you're watching a tennis match::]. It can be quite difficult to catch it all, and therefore difficult to stay in the conversation. I miss signs all the time (on top of the fact that I don't know all the signs), and it doesn't take much for me to get lost. And then today I found "Signs in Which Handshape and Hand Orientation Are Either Not Visible or Are Only Partially Visible: What Is the Consequence for Lexical Recognition?" (2009). Basically they found that handshape has the most salient information for comprehension of the message. Whoa, how awesome?

And I also saw, "Are You Getting the Message?: The Effects of SimCom on the Message Received by Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and Hearing Students" (2010). It basically found that SimCom does not produce equivalent messages to hearing and deaf students (as we knew), and that students do not receive equivalent messages (good to know).

I any event, I want all these articles to be in a book that I can read on the metro. Not me printing out 8.5x11 copies of everything. yuck. I need a kindle??

And in my career-oriented-confusion, true these things excite me and educate me, but they don't encourage me (not yet) to join the forces. While I think these studies are awesome and they are answering some truly curious questions, I really don't think I would want to pilot such a study. I am content on reading them.

Now if someone would just do a study about the hearing students' experiences at Gallaudet, I'd be satisfied. Though they do have published works regarding the Deaf President Now stuff. I'll read that too and let you know if it might be similar...

CODAfied

2010-05-02T00:04:00.006-04:00

Why are CODAs among the most fascinating? Man, I swear... bizarre...

A few beers later, and it's still so captivating. I'll try to convey this to you. It could be a blog post or a master's thesis... I could go on and on... here goes

CODA- child of Deaf adults (KODA = kid... ie, young person specifically...)

Anyway, here goes... and enough with the ellipses, huh?

In general, we need to first address bilingualism. KODAs are hypothetically learning both spoken English and signed American Sign Language (at least in this country). and of course, this depends on their exposure. But they are no ordinary bilingual. KODAs are learning two languages of two MODES of communication. WHAT?! Us hearing folk, when we want to learn ASL, it's a fascinating other language, foreign, yet domestic. Ok, gotta get the handshape, palm orientation, and body placement under my belt, but then, I'm good. The other way around, though, can be quite a challenge. Can you imagine if all your life you only used your hands stuck in mittens, and then you needed the fine motor skills to type a weblog entry fluently? I mean, a lot of people (KODAs or Deaf) will use a manual mode of communication as a primary mode of communication. Trying to learn a spoken language is beyond learning the language itself.

Semantics is only one piece of the puzzle. The English phonology is a whole different MODE than the ASL. For this reason, it may be a challenge to learn to speak English as a KODA. A soon-to-be-graduate in the speech-language pathology program at Gallaudet presented recently a case study about a CODA she worked with in the clinic. And it's true, she confirmed it for me, that children of Deaf adults are fascinating. Hearing kids of hearing parents-- some background for you, put very simply-- learn to speak by practicing different sounds. They babble up a storm, and they listen to themselves. They listen to their parents. Over time, they try to match their productions to their models (e.g., family, teachers, peers?, TV, etc...). Oral motor skills are acquired just as any fine motor skill... through practice... and eventual mastery.

Speech samples revealed that he would produce very inconsistent errors. Sometimes he would say a word this way, sometimes a different way... and rarely the correct way. The presenters example was with the word train. Instead, the KODA said "crane" or "wayne"... [I actually don't remember her examples. I made these up]. Now there are a lot of reasons for inconsistent errors. And the bottom line is that he is still learning how to produce it correctly. He makes his best attempt, and he waits for the ever-so-valuable feedback from the therapist to let him know if that sounded right or not.

Let me take a step back. Before any one learns how to produce speech, it's best to listen to how it's supposed to be produced. The presenter also pointed out some curious errors that may be representative of his ability to discriminate between English speech sounds. And ya know, that is a skill itself. Training your ear to hear the difference between sounds seems passive and natural, but in fact, it should be noted that this comes with work (and exposure!). And for some KODAs, this can also be a challenge. For this kid, he had difficulty understanding the name Colt. He responded "cold?" "No, ColTTTT." "Cold??" he replies, signing the COLD gloss simultaneously. And it's true, that /t/ and /d/ are acoustically similar. And it can be difficult to hear the difference. Just as it can be difficult for a Japanese speaker to discriminate between the English /r/ and /l/ (I've done some research. Ask me for references ;-).

Now moving from speech to language (they are not one and the same)- The KODA she presented on initially would just repeat what he heard. Practicing the model? Once they weaned him off of that, he would consistently produce 1-word utterances. This boy was about 3 years old, so he is expected to produce about 3-word utterances at that time (as other hearing kids typically do). Why, as speech and language therapy continued, was he still at 1-word utterances? One idea is rooted in ASL morphology. In ASL, true there are sign glosses (as they are called) which are kinda comparable to words. You put them together, and built meaning. True. But there is a lot more than that. Often, ASL includes such movements of the hands and body and face that are not exactly a sign themselves. So maybe this child is having trouble with this 1 word:1 morpheme idea? He frequently omitted what may be called "function words" like prepositions (e.g., in) and articles (e.g., the)... And there are no 1:1 corresponding ASL glosses for such English words.

So in the end. KODAs blow my mind. They learn two languages at once- aka simultaneous bilingualism. On the other hand, this really depends on the kid. It could be argued that some are sequential bilinguals (learning one language, then learning the other). Either way, they are fine tuning their oral motor skills and their audition skills. The two languages are different modes, and really, they don't follow the typical simultaneous bilingual patterns other children have who are learning two languages within the same mode (spoken). Intriguing. And don't get me wrong! A LOTTTT of KODAs get English down with no problems! The key is really exposure (and interaction). How can you expect to learn a language when you never encounter it?

I don't know what my real point is, but I want to just point out how complicated and awesome this is. Or sometimes is? sigh..

2010-03-30T07:35:00.000-04:00

at the drop of a hat. one meeting. one email. one comment. one look is all it takes.

i want to go to sleep forever.

I've never been so preoccupied with how people perceive me

2010-03-25T08:58:00.003-04:00

Never in my life.
It's interesting how I let almost beg others define me. I paid for it, in fact.

Here at graduate school (and in undergrad), we are studying people, essentially. We observe and elicit and provoke and manipulate. Our data, therefore, includes any and all observable behaviors.

And this is exactly how SLPs are judged successful or unsuccessful. Every bit of data counts... in order to increase reliability? I am constantly observed. Every aspect of my Gallaudet career is being watched and evaluated. In the clinic. In the classes. In the hallways... What I am wearing. My demeanor. My red eyes. My vernacular. All of these things are perceived by others. This is all they got to understand who I am. And I guess predict my successfulness in the field.

Now knowing all of this, can you understand a bit more how I need to live my life like Miss Perfect SLP Student? Which I don't. And I am more than aware of it. I am reminded daily.

I have never in my life been so preoccupied with how people perceive me. I am fake with some supervisors. I need to be. I need to show a happy, confident, pro-active student, though I don't think I am a good actress. I am not a different person with the students, but I try to be around the staff and faculty (save one who I am totaly real with). I watch my comments depending on who is around. Act sociable and lively. Act motivated and knowledgable. Can I act insightful... if only.

Before this year, I didn't care much what people thought of me (though I never experienced anyone who detested me). I wore what I liked, expressed myself how I wanted, enjoyed casual, informal discussion of abstract and stupid rhetoric. But now? I miss my old life. Every day I want it to be the weekend. Which isn't all that different. Locked in my room in my pjs.

the slp student's dilemna

2010-03-19T12:18:00.002-04:00

it's kinda like if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask for a glass of milk.

if you go off to medical school, you'll likely become a hypochondriac.

if you go off to slp school, you'll likely over-assess your speech and language.

i think i have a learning disability

http://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/LBLD.htm#two

2010-02-13T12:11:00.001-05:00

I think it looks great on paper.... in theory it's perfect.

But in reality... every week I think how it's not.

practice

2010-01-11T04:05:00.003-05:00

just dickin around. these suck.

"A cheap person will be cheap with his feelings"

2010-01-05T07:40:00.004-05:00

Says my aunt. (We were talking about her several ex's, not about Kevin, but I will go into this later.)

I respect my aunt very much; she has been through a lot in her life, but she doesn't know what she is talking about. Of course the first question when she learned I had a boyfriend (thanks, Dad, for keeping the Israelis up to date on my life), was about his religion. And anything but "Jewish" is the wrong answer, naturally. Then it went on to "How do your parents feel about this?" Ugh. And "How do you feel about this?" which I can't answer in a sentence. I told her I love him. That's the easy answer. I obviously wouldn't be with him now if it was my #1 priority. And I think I can say that the ONLY reason it would EVER be a #1 priority is so that I can answer these questions from various family members with less anxiety... in which case, I would be doing it for so many OTHER people, but not for myself... which I do not agree with.

She responded with "Love isn't everything." She doesn't know what she is talking about. She told my mom and I a story ("Michelle, pay attention") about her first love, who wasn't ready for marriage, but her mother was encouraging her for marriage, and he went off to school and then more school in Italy, and meanwhile she married and had a kid before she say him again. And still today when/if she sees him (maybe a few times since then), her heart sinks. She wonders what would be if she had married him. And I hear that he wonders too. And I hear that regret is an awful feeling.

Apparently she feels better off. Because he is cheap. And she hears his current marriage is having troubles because he is too cheap. Maybe something is lost in translation? I vote that they don't know what love is. Call me a romantic (Srav is rubbing off on me!), but I believe that love conquers all. If you love someone, who loves you, other problems will find solutions. You will work through differences. You will overcome life's struggles. blabhlah. No doubt in my mind.

I also recently learned of a good person in a sour marriage. Basically her husband took away her car, cell, and credit cards for what seems to be no reason (I want to acknowledge my bias source and limited information!). She is stuck at home with 3 children now, while he works. What if there is an emergency? I am not sure of her spending habits previously, but I don't think these actions are leading to an equal relationship, but rather a totalitarian authority. And she stays with him because she loves him. Does she? Does she just love having a husband? Does she just feel stable and comfortable with him, which I will have you all know is part of, but not the only components of true love. (Does she feel stable and comfortable at all?)

Ugh. I say "ugh" to these talks of love! I hate to say it, but as much as I love my family, they do not know me well. What is important to me, what I value and savor and cherish and care for... I do not talk openly about myself... I listen... but perhaps opening my mouth is the only way to increase understanding. I DO preach that communication is key! Emerson, as I always reference, said it is ok to be a hypocrite.

Honestly, I miss Kevin more now than ever. Seeing him once a month is killing me.

Less than 2 weeks!

The Holy Land

2010-01-03T03:29:00.004-05:00

I am going to upload a recording tonight, interpreting the videos for the ASL-impaired... (my ASL sucks, and I blame it on almost 2 weeks of limited ASL exposure!)

Driving from the airport to the hotel- night #1.1

ps- hit the audio recording for (shitty) interpretation first, then hit play to see hear it overlap the video.

pps- not only is my ASL falling behind, but also, it is extremely hard for an ASL student to sign with one hand.... good luck understanding this one. Hopefully the later ones will improve after I get used to signing again.

The view from the hotel!- night #1.2

Hot water heaters- night #1.3

the profoundest thing I have heard ever come from the tv show GREEK

2009-12-16T13:14:00.003-05:00

there was a moment when Cappie was talking to Spitter, he was helping him cope with the separation between him and his now-ex-girlfriend. He said "relationships either evolve...... or they go extinct... good luck adapting" wait, now I forget what he was talking about, but anyway. that is so true! because if you think about it, there are some friendships that you kinda had, and eventually lost, and then there are ones that last forever. Why? because they evolve. In a good way. In a flourishing way, that makes relationships stronger. ANy relationship, really.

Then they had another episode (or was it that episode?), they had flashbacks to the current seniors' freshman year. How they all met, and before their relationships went sour and got all complicated and confusing. And as the audience member, you kinda assumed there was really more history than you know about. And when you get to see it in a flashback, it makes you appreciate the "current relationship went sour" so much more! Does that make any sense. That's another reason why I love LOST!

2009-12-14T20:12:00.002-05:00

from schuman and capone's language development (2010;)

a... key feature of the self-teaching hypothesis is the lexicalization of the phonological recording (share, 1995). young readers initially begin the word recognition process with a basic knowledge of simple letter-sound correspondences that become associated with particular words (i.e., they are "lexicalized"). Children modify these simple one-to-one grapheme-morpheme correspondences by using constraints such as context, word position, and morphological endings (a grapheme is a written symbol [letter] that represents a phoneme [sound]). Share recognized that these initial decoding successes are much different than the decoding of the complex words that skilled readers eventually encounter. nevertheless, according to Share, these early, manageable encounters are enough to kick-start the self-teaching mechanism, which in turn refines itself in light of othorgraphic knowledge. Orthography refers to the way a word is stored visually in one's memory (Torgesen, 2004). The early lexicalization of sound-letter correspondences may best be considered a bootstrap or scaffold for developing the "complex, lexically constrained knowledge of spelling-sound relationships that characterize the expert reader" (share, 1995, p. 165).

THOUGHTS?

Communication is Key

2009-12-07T14:29:00.005-05:00

In all honesty, I think that communication and language are of the most fascinating topics in the world. How do we exchange any information? How can you think/feel something and be able to express it; and just the same, how can I receive that message and understand how you think/feel. Freaks me out.

Last night, Kevin told me how happy he was that we were both interested in communication and language (as an aspiring editor). And I couldn't agree more. Clear communication is among the most important things in a relationship and in the world. We are making it our personal duties to assure, encourage, and disseminate efficient communication practices revealing nothing but mutual understanding.

Following Thanksgiving dinner, my cousin introduced me to Ludwig Wittgenstein. He says in his Tractatus:

Now I'm afraid you haven't really got hold of my main contention to which the whole business of logical propositions is only corollary. The main point is the theory of what can be expressed by propositions, i.e., by language (and, which comes to the same thing, what can be thought) and what cannot be expressed by propositions, but only shown; which I believe is the cardinal problem of philosophy.

How cool is that? Ok, so maybe not the most novel of ideas, but I think I like it, whoever said it first means nothing.

But somehow we do understand each other. And I realize now that my fascination with language and communication reveals itself in how I want to know the perspective of who I am talking with. I always ask questions... and how that person feels about whatever... and why... and his experiences... of course I try to shut my mouth if it gets too personal or invasive, but honestly, all of those things really help you understand a person and his perspective. Which ultimately lead you to better understand them in their communication in general.

I was talking with some roommates and friends this weekend. Of various hearing levels, we all have our own communication styles and preferences in various contexts and environments. In any event, I've noticed just how much miscommunication goes on in my house. Oh man it can be a riot. (and also NOT a riot!) It is curious, though, how there is less misunderstanding outside of our home than within. Thoughts?

Gestural System is Being Replaced

2009-11-08T19:23:00.002-05:00

As an American Sign Language Learner (aka SL2), you cannnnotttt tell me that your signing has not influenced your communication in English- in the Hearing world. Sometimes, when ASL just seems more appropriate (natural?), it just comes out. At that bar where it seems like wherever you stand, you are next to a speaker... At the museum where you just can't bring yourself to break the silence... At the coffee shop where you see that cute guy you want to talk about... And it just seeps into life where no one has any ASL competence! Just seeps it's way right on through, so that if there is any misunderstanding, I somehow resort to ASL (or what I know of it). For example, there was an Ethiopian girl in the building (someone's daughter) who knows no English. Why was I trying to sign "I'll be right back"?? Beyond this, you will see your whole gestural system start to be replace as your ASL knowledge increases. I find myself signing to myself, the way other hearing people might speak to themselves. I find my self signing when I think, for some reason, it has meaning to others, when really, it only has meaning to myself (Deaf people will tell you that too, haha!)

Anyway, there was this funny short story that my professor told us...
A man is out to lunch and he is reading the menu.... the waiter approaches and asks for his order, "What can I get you for lunch?" and he says, "Oh, tuna" as he signs FISH. Insert ::weird look:: from all parties. Himself included. "How did that get there," I find myself thinking when that happens to me. It just slips right out.

homework videos

2009-10-28T14:29:00.002-04:00

Describing my experience at a "Deaf event" (ie homecoming football game! loads of old alumni representing their class! so cool)

Also, here is me describing a living room. I don't like it. But fuck it, just submit it already!

Ignorance is NOT bliss

2009-10-22T23:05:00.005-04:00

Part of my future career goals is to bridge the gap between the hearing world and the deaf world. And inherent in this rift (as in ANY rift) is communication. Duh. But another issue underlying this is ignorance. As I have said before, I cannot blame most people for their ignorance of deafness, hearing loss, Deaf culture, etc. No one told them about it. No one sat them down and chatted about the challenges people with a hearing loss have to face DAILY when interacting with the hearing world. Nor about how effortless communication is with sign language (maybe). And I can understand that. Why would they have had that talk?

BUT if you are someone who works with the public, someone who is constantly going to be interacting with all kinds of people, you really should be more AWARE of these differences and their implications. Here is a short anecdote:

A hard-of-hearing friend of mine (for those ignorants out there, this is a self-identifying term for someone how has SOME degree of hearing loss (HL), typically less loss than more, who likely relies more on speech than signing (if any), who definitely relies on auditory reception, blabhalh. ask for more details)- this friend of mine was pulled over for speeding one day. Now in this situation, there are a few anticipatory strategies a person with some HL can apply. There is a finite number of comments this officer is going to say to you. And if you pay attention, you can figure out what is going on. Something like "License and registration, please" is likely to come up. Also, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Responding appropriately to these questions may intentionally or unintentionally trick the officer into thinking you can hear normally.

My friend had a moment where he did not understand the officer's speech (which is done easily- a mustache, an accent, a car drives by...). He explained he is hard-of-hearing, and he asked him to repeat himself. Apparently the cop thought he was being a smart ass, accusing him of even lying on his license, which reads "hearing impaired." What the fuck?? Who the fuck is he? Because my friend speaks well and efficiently and appropriately employs communication strategies, he accidentally convinces people he is of normal hearing. The thing is that he isn't. There is a fine line, true, between normal hearing and mild loss, but at the same time, there is a difference. And for him, communication can be exhausting and a struggle, depending on the speakers, of course. Or it can be effortless and smooth.

No fucking help to that ignorant cop. He doesn't know what he is talking about. And he isn't making anyone's life easier. Nor is he protecting the liberties and justice of this land by being a dumbass.

The Story of Simon

2009-10-22T22:44:00.005-04:00

A friend of mine at Gallaudet (hearing) recently received a care package from her family back home in NY. Love and good wishes were packed into cards and sealed with a kiss. Specifically, her grandmother sent a card with something special inside. She explained that she found something on her usual pew in church one Sunday. It made her think of her granddaughter at Gally and knew it was meant for her. It's a small flipbook some kid made-- pictures pasted on index cards, telling "The Story of Simon, the Deaf and Dumb Man," complete with pictures on every page. [Kevin later explained to my ignorant self that this is what is referred to as a tract.] [Also please note, in this context, "dumb" means cannot speak.] --

"[Sad-face] Simon was deaf and dumb. He could not hear or speak. He was very sad. [picture birds chirping around him, insert ::shrug::] Simon's friends asked Jesus to make Simon well and happy again. [cue smiling Jesus]. Jesus touched Simon's ears and tongue. Suddenly Simon could hear the birds and he said to Jesus 'Thank you for being so kind and making me well again.' [picture birds again and happy Simon.] They had a big party and Simon told all the people about his friend Jesus who had made him better. [cue dancing]"

Thoughts?
Simon admittedly was unhappy. I'm gonna go ahead and assume Simon had extremely difficulty communicating (though he did have friends?). Maybe not. Maybe it was purely a hearing thing, not a communication thing. Maybe he took advantage of communication strategies, like writing down his order for the farmer on paper. In any event, there was no sign language. However, he got his daily needs met without spoken language/access to environmental noises (minimal auditory reception). For some reason, it wasn't working for him. And I respect that. He asked to hear because that is what he thought would be in his best interest.

I do NOT respect this as an example of how Jesus is the most miraculous man to walk the land or the most skilled savior. In today's contexts, this is teaching our children an ignorant, outdated perspective of deafness. And the number one complaint I have is that "deaf and dumb" has been stepped on and dumped in the trash decades ago. Stop saying that. This is 2009. Wake up.

Though grandma had good intentions, I'm not sure if she really understand what is going on in Gallaudet's Hearing and Speech Center. And I don't blame her, of course. She was probably given some similar lesson about Jesus and deafness when she was young, too.

2009-10-15T23:54:00.002-04:00

my headphones rock.

these headphones are so awesome. when i wear them, it really blocks out every other sound. It's like as if ear plugs played music. at whatever volume you wanted. without disturbing others (usually), and without others disturbing you. ya know when people talk over your music you are listening to. with these headphones, i can hear all the music i want, and it doesnt interfere with my communication, either. i just tell the kids in my program that i cant hear what they are saying, and we will start signing instead. that way we can still chat, and i can still hear my music. how's that a "middle of the road" perspective for you!

I am eating the most erotic chocolate.

Enjoy

2009-10-12T21:13:00.007-04:00

Why is it so popular for hearing kids to interpret music? I'm not sure, but this kid beats 'em all. He is my role model.

http://www.youtube.com/user/ewitteborg

PLEASE see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbGFwtHMvto&feature=fvw
(even if you don't know a BIT of sign- it's for your own good)

From my ASL class

2009-10-05T23:12:00.002-04:00

Describe BRIEFLY your life story (using LATER-ON and WRONG as a conjunctive)

Describe BRIEFLY you experience at and reaction to a Deaf event
see rathskeller.com

Phonemes = speech sounds

2009-09-23T17:31:00.002-04:00

Apparently it is easier for Deaf people to accurately recite the alphabet than to recite phonemes in isolation.

ie- they can say "ay bee see dee..." but it might be more difficult to elicit the sound an /m/ "mmmmm"

Science is everywhere

2009-09-13T20:13:00.002-04:00

I know what you are thinking (Srav), Saturday AND Sunday? Seriously? This girl is on a roll!!!

I just wanted to comment about how I am writing fieldnotes in my grad program. Cool, right? Kinda. It's cool only because I have an idea of what I need to do already. Granted they aren't called fieldnotes, but they are essentially the same concept.

We know that if you consider yourself to be working in a "science," then that implies the scientific method. It's everywhere, guys! First we will interview with the client, get an idea of their history, why they are seeking our services, blahblah. Make some early hypotheses. (FAST FORWARD through diagnostic evaluation) If therapy is appropriate, we set goals/objectives we would like to accomplish through therapy. We meet with them, observe, take notes on those observations (fieldnotes = SOAP notes), and based on those observations (of everything from mood to performance data) we will plan for the next session. More fieldnotes, more practice, more performance assessment, more planning....

Thus the scientific method. Though, the progress is based on the performance on standardized tests (kinda... at least the diagnostic is). Which is lame. But as I was telling Katie, who is also quite opposed to these things, we will graduate and re-philosophize our field and become the best we can be and the best there ever was! Kids will love us because we are so different from the common SLP.

Sanchez

2009-09-12T14:40:00.003-04:00

One example case study my professor created to inspire conversation in my Clinical Procedures class was about Emily Sanchez. She is a Deaf girl who came to the clinic for aural habilitation and was really benefiting from her hearing aid. Her speechreading was fantastic inside the speech center, but she was dealing with a conflict outside of the speech and language center. She did not want to wear her hearing aid because of what her deaf friends might think.

The classes resolved the issue with: she can take the HA off with her deaf friends because she doesn't need to hear.

Honestly this is such a simplistic answer! I'm sure she can think of this answer herself. So there must be more to it than that, right? Or else she wouldn't come to the clinic with that question if there was an easy answer. The truth is that there will be situations where she might want to hear and sign. Perhaps in a mix of hearing and deaf friends. Or if they go to a restaurant or somewhere else in public and need to interact with the Hearing world. Maybe she wants to be able to access both worlds at the same time?

Why does she feel ashamed to wear her HA? They think that she is ashamed of her deafness? Of her culture? Next thing ya know, she'll be refusing sign language and closing her eyes when they try to communicate with her. My only suggestion to her is that she needs to sit down with her "friends" who might look at her differently with a HA in. Talk about why she wears it and why she doesn't want to. Deaf radicals who think that assistive listening technology is turning people into cyborgs need to get their head out of the ground and look around at the world. If it works for some people, let them be! Live and let live??? If it's not for you, fine! No one is pushing anything on you. She is still just as Deaf as she was yesterday. She can just hear a little bit more now. Chill out.

Hearing Culture

2009-09-07T12:10:00.003-04:00

What the fuck? What does that mean? Did I just make that shit up?

One of the presenters at orientation (Dirksen Bauman - gorgeous) informed us that when he was born, he could hear. He repeated it. When he was born, he could hear. He said, it wasn't until he was 21 years old, that he became Hearing. [please note: Hearing is capitalized to emphasize the Hearing culture, not the sense of hearing] He asked the audience what that meant. Of course it is because at 21 was when he first became aware of what that was. That there was such a thing as Deaf culture and there was such a thing as to be Hearing. He first met a Deaf person when he was 21 years old.

It makes sense. Often times, you don't notice something until something comes along. (says the Devil in the South Park Movie: Without evil, there would be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes!- is the only thing that comes to mind.) Anyway, at 21 he realized that there was this thing/identity/culture called hearing. You are Hearing, and I am Deaf. Get it?

It is interesting to see hearing people when they first learn about this term. They will be explaining something and realize they need a term for someone who is NOT deaf. They look to their peers, who give the sign/term "Hearing" (please note- the sign for "Hearing" is different than the sign for "to hear" -- interesting!). It's funny to see their reactions to their first exposure to that label (I'm assuming it is created by the Deaf community, but who knows).

Another interesting, somewhat related tidbit:
A friend of mine was talking about her experience with a hearing friend. (I am not a stickler for capitalizing Hearing/Deaf.... I think it depends on my mood. And/or if I want to emphasize that label/identity/culture...) She is deaf, and she speaks very well. She will wear a hearing aid or two and is quite a skilled lipreader. She says that sometimes he forgets that she is deaf, that she can't hear, at all. They were discussing enrolling him in an ASL class; that sometimes, it would be easier if he had a basic understanding of sign langauge/culture/identity. In any event, while communication hasn't been an issue, communication itself has been brought to light. That means that there are times when he is just so used to talking with her that he honestly doesn't realize she can't hear. And that assumption can definitely lead to other assumptions and expectations that wouldn't arise if there were a constant reminder that that person can't hear (ie if she did NOT speak). Therefore, he might be missing out on understanding that there is whole other side to who she is as a person. It can go unnoticed when you are in a mainstream hearing culture that some people can be very much integrated into it, but fail to have that one sense that everyone else has, that the culture is defined as having. (in a way). Weird, right?

I am not sure if this is the smartest way to end it. Maybe I'll edit this post more later.

tell as inform

2009-09-04T18:11:00.003-04:00

When you are learning sign language, you might ask a Deaf person "How can I sign, 'She told me...' or 'I told you...'?" Typically they will tell you a directional/referential sign that points to your mouth. I know I use that phrase all the time. "I told her already." "She told me she'd be late." In reality, though. When hearing people say "told," they typically mean to focus on the fact that they received or sent some kind of message -- some information was exchanged. I think the better sign to use in this context is the sing to "inform" instead. You won't see many deaf people sign "she told me" in this context, but rather "she informed me" -- it kinda depicts information from the brain to a person.

It's a little surprising (though it shouldn't be) to think about all of the vocal/auditory nuances in our spoken language. She told me. I heard about it. That sounds cool. Of course these all make sense and are used correctly to mean what they say, but at the same time, it emphasizes the vocal and auditory means, so of course it doesn't translate well. Instead, maybe we should try to interpret the meaning of what you are trying to say, rather than the directly translate the words.

ps- things I need to remember to write about
-audism/phonocentrism/cognitive diversity
-window v. door (ben bahan?)
-burrito (bb?)
-proxemics - triangle building blocks (bb?)
-reading the envi/sounds/sensory reach

Speech Reading > Lip Reading

2009-09-01T16:40:00.003-04:00

So we're off. School has begun, textbooks are in the mail, commuting is a bitch. I still plan on writing about orientation, and I realize that every day that passes is a day away from a good memory. We'll see how long it takes me.

Today I want to write about speech reading. This was my first time being exposed to that phrase- in Clinical Procedures for Communication Disorders (with a strong emphasis on aural rehabilitation). For those of you who don't know, lip reading is a common (do I really know that?) method among deaf individuals to gather what they can regarding what you are saying to them. They will "read" your lips, trying to decipher the words you are saying. I've been told that only about 30% of the spoken American English can be seen (i.e. "m", "p", and the shape of vowels- to some extent). If you want to try it for yourself, mute your television (without captions!) and do your best to focus on the lips of the characters. How much of what they are saying do you think you would be able to understand? If you want to give yourself some help, try to just have the volume EXTREMELY low -- to simulate SOME residual hearing. You got anything?

There are people in this world who do wonders and can actually make out a LOT of what people are saying just by reading their lips. How do they do it?! (practice is some part of it, but there is more...)

So in class the phrase speech reading comes up, and of course this is different than lip reading. Speech reading will take in lip reading, true, but also much more than that. Other visual elements include facial expression, gestures, body language; cognitive elements like linguistic competence in the target language and situational cues; and of course any residual hearing. With that extra information, you can see how it might make more sense that the angry driver that passed you screamed "Fuck you!" and not "Vacuum!" And in the same sense, that your mom wants you to clean your room, not insult you...

So all this is well and good, but I have a few issues with this. First of all, what makes that "speech" reading any more than "lip" reading? I suppose you could argue that speech includes body language and situational clues, but really? Also, if deaf people only looked at lips, there is no way they would understand what the fuck was going on. OF COURSE they use all of these clues to help understand the world around them -- they're not dumb, that's an outdated idea :-) .

In any event, I thought I would enlighted those who are unaware of all the shit that deaf people take in when they are lip reading... or speech reading. Or whatever the difference is. To me, they are the same concept. Arguing semantics seems to be an inescapable future. Kill me.

Deaf Mixer

2009-08-30T16:29:00.003-04:00

Here come some few posts about my new situation here in the DC metro area! I have some notes about the interesting stuff from Graduate Student Orientation last week- we were given a bunch of presentations geared towards ignorant and then not-so-ignorant audiences. But first, some fun happened here last night, and I would love to share!

I am now living in MD with two Deafies and another Hearing girl. (If Deaf is a culture and should therefore be capitalized, then why not Hearing? ...when referred to as such) This weekend we have a full house with two boyfriends visiting from home. On top of that, one of my roommates' buddy from Gallaudet came for dinner along with three others. The food was fantastic! In any event, 4 Hearing kids (2 with ASL knowledge) + 6 Deaf kids = good time. And Kevin proved ever so impressive when he tried his best to communicate with his hands as best he could.

I'm gonna say that the home court advantage definitely helped me open up. Within the first hour of chatting, I learned that the professor I will be working with was actually someone's speech therapist! What a small world. Smaller than the Jewish world, I bet. ;-) Everyone was nice, though it proved to be pretty awkward at first. You could see us falling into our deaf and hearing cliques quickly. Eventually (with help from the brews and foosball) there was some intermingling. We attempted a round of Apples to Apples (with my poor interpreting), but that fell apart before long.

Something that stood out between the two hearing statuses in the room- our relation to the television. It was on most of the time- low volume with closed captions on. It seemed that two of the hearing kids were consistently distracted by it, while the signers didn't really think twice about its presence. It was brought up, and it seems to be a trend that hearing people are just easily distracted by a TV on in the background, while the signers are aware of it, but do not need to look at it if they aren't interested. The hearing sense is so weird. We talked a lot this week at orientation about the sense and what it means to hearing people- how it impacts our lives and culture, even in ways that we are unaware of. It's a powerful sense, I say. And it's almost passive. (I say "almost" because there is definitely a distinction between hearing and listening). You don't need to point your ears at anything or need to be too close to anything to hear it. Sound just finds it's way into your outer, middle, and inner ear and right to your brain. So weird. And awesome.

Hopefully I will be at loads of social deaf events, and my signing and awareness will only increase. The kids offered good advice to keep in touch with the Deaf community around here, and I will do my best to network on campus and find more buddies to increase my competency and coolness 8-).

Receptionist Tip of the Day:

2009-07-26T14:45:00.001-04:00

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!”

- Ann Frank

...if you could only see my face...

It takes two

2009-05-02T10:28:00.002-04:00

So I got hired for Vector Marketing for 15 hours a week for $8 an hour (see also workforstudents). They are the company that sells the sweet cutlery products of Cutco. In ANY event, I am still looking for more work (possibly the Springfield Township Library!), but in my first week working for Vector, I have learned a bit about American Business.

I got a packet- like a script I should say when I call unsuspecting people to work for us. In addition, I got tips to create a sense of urgency (more than "call us in the next ten minutes", but similar). Apparently, and I believe it, if you feel like this is a limited offer, in need of "act now!", you will be more likely to come in for an interview. And if they are signed up for an interview the day that I call them, they are more likely to SHOW UP to the interview... hence my need to create urgency. In any event, my reflections started when I read the words on our "Fundamentals" sheet: Believing that creating urgency is normal, not manipulative.

Which brings me to "what is manipulative." I'm thinking, though this is probably too simplistic, deliberately acting in some specific way with the intention of creating a specific desired reaction from an audience. How does that sound? Dictionary.com says "1. to manage or influence skillfully, esp. in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings." I guess it is the "unfair" in there that makes it very different.

So regardless of how manipulative or not creating urgency is, I think it is incredible how people's actions (reactions), behaviors, decisions, moods, etc., are really just in response to other people's word choice (actions, behaviors, decisions, moods, etc.). I mean, think about this. One day this week, we have two kids calling people who had been accepted to work for Vector, but for some reason missed the training session(s). Basically they are trying to get these people to sign up for training again. We are tallying the numbers these two callers are rescheduling. By the end of the day, one had 22 and the other around 10.

Now, granted, these numbers need to be taken with a grain of salt (how did that expression start?) because this is only one day's worth of data for you, but consider this: there is no real reason why one caller's numbers should have been double the other callers'. They are essentially calling from the same pool of people who missed their training. Therefore, the difference comes from their approach. Maybe one is more calm, maybe one is more enticing, maybe one is more personable, maybe one is more creepy, maybe one is more urgent... and the list can go on. In any event, the people who are rescheduling with one caller are reacting differently than those rescheduling with the other caller for some other reason than because they want the job. Otherwise, why wouldn't their numbers be more similar (unless it is just perchance that one called a lot more people who were "currently seeking employment," as we say in the biz).

So I'm gonna start thinking about how many actions, decisions, behaviors... I do every day that are merely reactions from my environment. How many decisions do I make daily that are my own? How many can I say I decided on because that is how I truly felt and that is what I truly want. And not because someone else influenced me with their calmness, enticements, impressionability, etc...

I think you should do the same.

And I think you will be surprised to learn that the answer is not many. If I learned anything from studying anthropology, I learned that we as individuals are pretty meaningless. It takes at least two, my friend, it is true. Almost everything we do is because of someone else. Think about that.

2009-03-29T20:43:00.001-04:00

I'M GOING TO GALLAUDET NEXT YEAR!

Months later...

2009-03-02T11:41:00.003-05:00

So it seems I have been motivated to turn this into a working blog again. Though with a higher ratio of text to videos...

These days don't include much- I am waiting to hear from Gallaudet about my acceptance or rejection (EEP!). I am going there for an interview this Friday, actually. FUCKIN NERVOUS AS HELL! We'll see how that goes.

These days I am trying to read about ASL and SLP and have been observing some SLPs in action. I should be doing more with my time, though. I have become lazy and unmotivated and am starting to feel guilty (except on weekends).

Today's plan: finish up skimming Great Deaf Americans before I return it to the library (along with Clueless and The Wedding Singer), watch some more Weeds, sew a patch onto my jeans, start Sophie's World, uh... Kevin might be coming over later, though it is still snowing, so who knows if trains are running right. If not tonight, I will see him in the AM.

I might start volunteering a day a week at the Abramson Center in North Wales... close and it's SOMETHING to do. Though when Andrew volunteered there in high school, he didn't particularly enjoy it.. nor did he feel a certain "I did some good here" feeling... we'll see.

updates?

2008-10-31T00:57:00.003-04:00

this is me attempting to sign about
1) broad st. after the phillies game
2) halloween
3) i need to watch risky business and other shitty work

it's like 1am and i think the camera quality is too bad to follow the signs without blurring. i'll try harder next time?

other updates

2008-09-18T12:27:00.003-04:00

let's play catchup

2008-09-15T10:05:00.002-04:00

My favorite

2008-06-01T09:00:00.003-04:00

This is pretty interesting. See if you can figure out what is going on...

2008-05-23T07:06:00.005-04:00

I have four videos from ASL study group this week. Let me know any sweet anthropological/communication theory observations or questions you have.

Robert and Chris

(no idea what they are discussing... I can only catch little blips of phrases)

Alison and Sinh

(discussing their siblings)

Dwayne and Chris

(at first they are talking about girls, I think, then about shoes?)

Chris and Sinh, Robert and Dwayne

(the content is unimportant to me, I was trying to show the bigger picture here)

I'm assuming you all can tell who is hearing from who is Deaf... can you?

it's been a while

2008-03-29T19:46:00.004-04:00

Interpretation to come later...

Deaf Conference at Swarthmore College

2008-03-07T17:25:00.006-05:00

ugh. first to dark, now too light... heh

So I forgot to mention this last vlog, but I went to this sweet Deaf conference at Swarthmore College the other weekend. My buddy Jesse (deafie from Penn State) went with me, and it was just awesome. It was so good! They basically split up the lectures into two parts: the first was dedicated to research on sing language- on different language forms around the world and on the development (and fading) of sign languages as times change and technology flourishes; the second part focused on Deaf cultural aspects, also around the world- Deaf cultures, problems they face in nonindustrial societies, struggles... SO cool. VERY anthrpological, I tell you! (Jesse says I'm not too shabby in the signing game. He explained that expressive skills in general are more important in communication than the actual knowledge and use of accurate vocabulary and grammar and shit, so that makes me happy! but I know I need to practice, and I should take a class...)
So I made this at 2am, and I was just out of the shower with a wet head, which wouldn't stay out of the way. I didn't finish all the homework I wanted to get done, but I was tired and the bed was calling.
I am beginning to notice that all of them get cut off at the end, so I'll just leave 5 seconds at the end of the taping for a buffer.

The Price of Reading...

2008-03-04T00:24:00.001-05:00

bear with me. I was WAY too tired to go find a desk lamp to sit in front of. That was the best I could do with the energy I had left. You rock if you can understand at all because I am having trouble seeing what I saying. (plug for Hilari Scarl's "See What I'm Saying" documentary about Deaf entertainers! )

Here's what I think I got...
It's around midnight and I just woke up from a nap, but I still have more work to do, so I'm gonna wake up at 6am to do that (which never happened). I complain about how all my anthropology teachers load us up with tons of reading, which can be very time consuming and draining. Then there is a little moment where Sravanthi (my roommate/camera person) tells me to look into the camera more because my eyes are all over the place, but I told her I didn't even care (cranky because I'm tired). In the end, you can't even see my face in the dark, so it doesn't matter :-P.

Insert Vlog #1 Here

2008-03-04T00:23:00.003-05:00

haha, I fucked up "21". wiggled my index finger instead of my safety like on a pistol. I'll get better. the first one always is the worst, I'm sure.

Just some introductions to me, welcoming you to my elementary vlog here. I'm trying to learn sign, but it's pretty hard. I'll get better with practicing and studying, which come sporadically when I have the time between homework assignments. I took a class at Pennsylvania School for the Deaf a couple summers ago, but that's about it. I tried to take one at Community College of Philadelphia this past summer, but they canceled it because of low enrollment. So now I joined this ASL study group, which rocks. Some hearing guys and I get together at the Starbucks on 9th and South every Wednesday, so come if you're interested! A couple Deaf guys join us now and then- we need all the help we can get.

I am currently studying anthropology at Drexel University (see name sign) in Philadelphia. Tried to sign "the science of studying people" but it came out "science of studying... science of studying people." Anyway, this was basically all that I said and then some. I guess I should have TRIED to say some of the above, but whatever.

I guess the video cut off, but I apologized for the blurriness and asked if anyone knew how to help me. But it turns out that I figured it out (sent to macro, duh, michelle), and I fixed it.