practice

just dickin around. these suck.

"A cheap person will be cheap with his feelings"

Says my aunt. (We were talking about her several ex's, not about Kevin, but I will go into this later.)

I respect my aunt very much; she has been through a lot in her life, but she doesn't know what she is talking about. Of course the first question when she learned I had a boyfriend (thanks, Dad, for keeping the Israelis up to date on my life), was about his religion. And anything but "Jewish" is the wrong answer, naturally. Then it went on to "How do your parents feel about this?" Ugh. And "How do you feel about this?" which I can't answer in a sentence. I told her I love him. That's the easy answer. I obviously wouldn't be with him now if it was my #1 priority. And I think I can say that the ONLY reason it would EVER be a #1 priority is so that I can answer these questions from various family members with less anxiety... in which case, I would be doing it for so many OTHER people, but not for myself... which I do not agree with.

She responded with "Love isn't everything." She doesn't know what she is talking about. She told my mom and I a story ("Michelle, pay attention") about her first love, who wasn't ready for marriage, but her mother was encouraging her for marriage, and he went off to school and then more school in Italy, and meanwhile she married and had a kid before she say him again. And still today when/if she sees him (maybe a few times since then), her heart sinks. She wonders what would be if she had married him. And I hear that he wonders too. And I hear that regret is an awful feeling.

Apparently she feels better off. Because he is cheap. And she hears his current marriage is having troubles because he is too cheap. Maybe something is lost in translation? I vote that they don't know what love is. Call me a romantic (Srav is rubbing off on me!), but I believe that love conquers all. If you love someone, who loves you, other problems will find solutions. You will work through differences. You will overcome life's struggles. blabhlah. No doubt in my mind.

I also recently learned of a good person in a sour marriage. Basically her husband took away her car, cell, and credit cards for what seems to be no reason (I want to acknowledge my bias source and limited information!). She is stuck at home with 3 children now, while he works. What if there is an emergency? I am not sure of her spending habits previously, but I don't think these actions are leading to an equal relationship, but rather a totalitarian authority. And she stays with him because she loves him. Does she? Does she just love having a husband? Does she just feel stable and comfortable with him, which I will have you all know is part of, but not the only components of true love. (Does she feel stable and comfortable at all?)

Ugh. I say "ugh" to these talks of love! I hate to say it, but as much as I love my family, they do not know me well. What is important to me, what I value and savor and cherish and care for... I do not talk openly about myself... I listen... but perhaps opening my mouth is the only way to increase understanding. I DO preach that communication is key! Emerson, as I always reference, said it is ok to be a hypocrite.

Honestly, I miss Kevin more now than ever. Seeing him once a month is killing me.

Less than 2 weeks!

The Holy Land

I am going to upload a recording tonight, interpreting the videos for the ASL-impaired... (my ASL sucks, and I blame it on almost 2 weeks of limited ASL exposure!)

Driving from the airport to the hotel- night #1.1

ps- hit the audio recording for (shitty) interpretation first, then hit play to see hear it overlap the video.

pps- not only is my ASL falling behind, but also, it is extremely hard for an ASL student to sign with one hand.... good luck understanding this one. Hopefully the later ones will improve after I get used to signing again.

The view from the hotel!- night #1.2

Hot water heaters- night #1.3