Thursday, December 16, 2010

My CI textbook.

"In a comparative study of parental stress in mothers of preschoolers from three groups (i.e. healthy, hearing impaired, seizure disorders), mothers of children with sensationalist hearing loss reported the highest level of parenting stress on a standardized instrument and the greatest number of depressive symptoms"

"Preliminary data on the impact of cochlear implants on the family indicate a substantial reduction in parental stress and depression in this group, although there is considerable variance in stress ratings likely modified by a range of factors.... Given the data indicating that maternal stress and depression directly impact children's emotional and behavioral development, it is critical that aspects of family function be considered and addressed with objective studies of outcome achieved with cochlear implantations."

Nancy Mellon, MS from Chapter 9 "Parental Response to the Diagnosis of Hearing Loss" (p. 147 & 148) in my Cochlear Implants textbook (Niparko Ed., 2nd Ed., 2009)



She refers to: Quittner A, Glueckauf R, Jackson D. Chronic parenting stress: moderating vs. mediating effects of social support. J Personality Social Psychol 1990;59:1266-1278.

and to: Quitter A, Steck J, Rouiller R. Cochlear implants in children: a study of parental stress and adjustment. Am J Otol, 1991;12(Suppl):95-104.

I just thought this was... interesting.... But it should be noted that this textbook is RIDDEN with biases! And just mean comments about the Deaf world. But I suppose any CI textbook would be. You can borrow it if you want!


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

So I need to remind myself DAILY that it is VERY ok to not love every (thousands of) aspect of speech-language pathology. Deaf, stroke, TBI, early intervention, language delay, autism, PDD, elderly, hearing loss, NICU, sensory stim, alternative audmentative communication, blahblahblah

It's OK!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

share

The Value of Baby Sign

ASHA CONVENTION OR BUST!
Come see us- 2220
SA 9:30AM-10:30AM, Seminar 1 HR, Marr/Salon E
About Baby Signing
Brenda Seal, Gallaudet U, Washington, DC; YK
An, James Madison U, Harrisonburg, VA; Michelle
Brown, Gallaudet U, Washington, DC; Alison Gannon,
Gallaudet U, Washington, DC
Abundant anecdotal, but little empirical, evidence
promotes baby signing for a language-literacy
“advantage” in typically developing infants. This
session addresses previous and current research
directions and offers suggestions and cautions for
working with parents on signing choices, approaches,
and probable outcomes. Potential generalization to
clinical populations will be suggested.

As I do more research into the success of Baby Sign, some research hypothesizes why babies who sign have an advantage (see Goodwyn, Acredolo, and Brown, 2000). Fascinating! What it comes down to is scaffolding and reinforcement. What does this all mean? The developing baby brain is learning to interpret the world he is experiencing through interaction. Go read about Vygotsky's ideas. The babies who learn some sign can express just a little about how they are experiencing the world. And with that, parents can focus on their babies' expression, reinforce the vocabulary and elaborate and expand on their "utterances." This also allows for a child-centered approach, building on what the infant is interested in rather than telling them what they should be interested in.

The article highlights that Baby Sign allows babies to have their needs met without crying (WATER), to express how they feel (the doll is SCARY), clarify their needs (using specific signs, e.g. CHEERIOS), be more active participants during book-reading, clarify their initial verbal labels (i.e. if they sign when the begin to talk, the sign can clarify what they are saying if it is unintelligible).

What it comes down to is that parents are offering more opportunity for their babies to contribute (receptively and expressively) in conversation, control their environment, and therefore, allow them to be happier babies... ? In addition, more opportunities exist for parents to respond to their babies' comments. This allows the babies more directed, scaffolded learning opportunities for language development as they hear more language in general - parents are focusing on expanding and elaborating on their child's expression. It comes down to exposure!


Goodwyn, S. W., Acredolo, L. P., & Brown, C. A. ( 2000). Impact of symbolic gesturing on early language development. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 24, 81–103.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

the difference between you and me

Storytime
Yesterday, I was talking to a hearing student who works on campus. He told me that a customer (ignorantly) approached him, assumed he is deaf, and spoke to him with exaggerated lipping. He responded with sign, telling the customer he didn't understand. He says he chooses to not use his hearing ability on campus.

My two cents.
I totally disrespect the customer for his approach to the situation. He obviously has no idea what is going on. Or what he is doing. If he knew NO sign, I think, on a Deaf campus, writing the request is much more accepted. It eliminates the dependency on oral communication. I can imagine how the store clerk may be offended. I get it. But I DON'T respect the clerk's response. At all. The thing is is that he CAN hear. He can understand that request from the customer. He could respond using sign or writing it down (or writing down a request that the customer writes!).

And as I said, the customer is OBVIOUSLY ignorant. So what are you doing to fight that? To help him overcome his ignorance? To prevent him from offending others? Nothing. You are ignoring the situation. As a student on campus, driven to help the clear communication between hearing and deaf across the world, how can this situation be avoided? It's true, in my opinion, that both sides of the table handled it poorly. The blind leading the blind? heh. Maybe take the time to educate others?

I don't see how you can be offended by someone who is so ignorant - who maybe has no clue that he is being offensive - and not want to give him maybe some cultural capital. Cause he's got none. And I think that spreading the knowledge would truly help the acceptance and understanding of both perspectives.

Thoughts?

the deaf and hearing on campus

So as I may or may not have mentioned, Galladuet is a Deaf community. It is the hub of loads of Deaf advocates, activists, radicals, extremists, etc. I love 'em! This is what got me interested in Deaf culture. The balance and cooperation between the Hearing and Deaf worlds. How does this (invisible) minority -and others- make their way to gain what is called "functional equivalent" communication technology, how do they use their "voice" to maintain equal rights, how do they (in general) make their lives within a larger Hearing world.

But many of these Deaf rights and functional equivalencies are not relevant in the Deaf-majority community on Galladuet's campus. All the residents get a chance to lose that greater-society-implied label of "disability." Hearing is no longer an advantage. Sound is irrelevant. Campus is all about visual communication. Lights as doorbells, fire alarms; hitting the table let's your buddy feel the vibrations and can call his attention; glass windows, doors, and walls are no barrier at all for a brief chat with your partner before class starts.

No one is bothered by loud music at night, burping is less obnoxious (?), the TV can't be too loud, and no one is blabbering on their cell phones!!

But what about the hearing kids? Wait a second. Are they ever bothered by loud music at night? Do they find your burping obnoxious? Do they want the TV down while studying? And don't they talk on cell phones? What happened to equal rights?

Here is the deal.
As I was told week 1, no one should be talking on their cell phones on campus. If you have to, find a private place! Preferably indoors. Or in your own room. People might give you looks. Might (as I heard yesterday) though shit at you in the cafeteria! In fact, there is no talking on campus at all. Get those hands up! I've been told it's because of the limited access to communication when you are talking. I'm not which is more taboo- phone or talking- but I'd be interested to learn.

May it reminds these radicals of their "oppressed" lives off campus? Growing up? They can't use the phone the way hearing kids can? and ya know what, I totally respect that! It's like you visit a buddy's house and start speaking a foreign language on the phone during dinner. Just rude. How dare you come into MY house, MY territory. Where I can FINALLY be among people of similar experiences, similar views, similar language!!! And you walk in and bring in a piece of that outside world that tried so hard to change who I was and how I live.

My two cents.
But the thing is, people who react to phone conversations by throwing shit have a lot of growing up to do. Those hearing kids should have their rights, too. They wanna make a call? What's it to you? This ISN'T your house. It's a community. We all live together. Obviously that hearing student isn't ignorant about Deaf culture, the social experiences you may have been through, the norms people may have tried to force you into. That kid chose GALLAUDET to complete his study. I'm sure he has some idea about where he is. And why he is there.
People will always be talking on phones. Some people will always be hearing. It's not their fault, just like being Deaf is not your fault. Let it be his choice to fully immerse himself in Deaf life or to simply enjoy living in (and accepted by?) the Deaf community. Is it impossible? What do you think?

Saturday, August 21, 2010

stupid freshmen

So we've all heard stories about Gallaudet freshmen. Most often discussed (to me) is that they are known for pulling false fire alarms at all hours of the night. This has been happening for YEARS. The freshmen classes are renown for that. There are signs posted next to each alarm warning suspension or expulsion from school for pulling a false fire alarm now. I wonder if the alarms bother hearing or deaf kids more... either way, you're woken up in the middle of the night and have to evacuate. Sucks if you got 8am class.

I've been told that these freshmen also know how to party. Or think they do? Getting drunk every night, party party party, making out, sleeping around, what do I know. I just hear stories, and the scene is definitely too cool for me.

Once (or twice?) a year, the freshmen also will dye their hair (men and women) and then shave it off (men and women). But everybody's doin' it, Mom!

I'm not exactly sure why. Why the alarms, the parties, the shaved heads- and probably many more things out of the ordinary that I am not allowed to know about (as a hearing kid, living off campus, graduate student?). I've asked around for others' opinions on the subject. What they tel me is that every year, the freshman class tries to "outdo" the previous class. Get more strikes against them, have badder parties, be more crazy, more often.

Apparently both last year and this year, someone smeared FECES on the buttons in one of the elevators in the dorm. SERIOUSLY? I think you all can guess my opinion here. What do you all think? Funny or freaky?

But why? Why is this so important to be more off-the-wall? What my buddies come up with is that this is the way freshmen rebel. I suppose they are rebelling against what society has expected of them, pressured them to become, forced them to stay out of, or grown to antagonize. And ya know what, I totally respect that. Kids get a chance to move out of their parents home, find other buddies that are just like them, who have similar experiences, similar habits, who understand them better than their own families. Of course they want to experiment with limits and boundaries, with obligations and labels. With sexuality and debauchery. But POO in the ELEVATOR? Really? Shit? From your ass? Is that worth it?

Honestly, I think that if you want to change how you look or act to be different than everyone else for the sake of finding your identity, totally cool with me. Do what you gotta do. BUT, if you go so far, and plan, and execute, a shitty idea that is so disrespectful to others??! FUCK YOU, I say. And I'm not the one who has to live in your dorm, use your elevator, clean up your shit. I can't imagine how they feel. Some prolly cheer for you, but others prolly hate you. Idiot.

Another buddy brought up a REALLY good point. A LOTTTT of Gallaudet students get a sweet financial aid package. And they depend on that to even go to classes. And the truth is, when something is handed to you for free, you treat it a lot differently than if you were paying for it. You'd want to get your money's worth. You would have more respect for the goods you paid for. You earned that cash and now you decided this route- you better take advantage of each day and not miss a class unless you are bleeding! Heh. So maybe they might not value the situation they are so generously placed into? They decide to go on to an institution of higher learning. Some will take the offer with open arms and enjoy it and graduate and LEARN something. Some will decide to go on because someone else told them they have to, to go get laid, to go get drunk, enjoy it and maybe graduate. Hmm. Curious. What do you think?

Sunday, August 15, 2010

expressing yourself

I haven't really had the motivation to write in the blog recently. And tonight I am kind of forcing it out of myself, but here goes.

It is hard enough to express myself in English. Can you imagine me trying to get it out in another language? No way, man. O, so you think I'm funny? Somehow your sense of humor is lost cross-language. And I can imagine this to be true. Humor can be quite a complex concept. And often time linguistically complex, too. I just don't seem to be that funny in ASL. Comes out wrong... boo

Also, it can be tough to express your intelligence. Think about it. I've been "learning" ASL for about 3 years? 4 years? Imagine a 3 or 4 year old. You think they are funny?? haha. You think they can express how smart a 23 year old is using their 4 year old language?

Of course this is all a stretch. In the end, my point is that I need to study more. My personality doesn't really shine in my sign. I need to work on that. Expression. No good, man. I think, at least, that I am maintaining my signing skills... not losing too much.

I think I depend too much on English, really. I need to just get that outta my thoughts and think in ASL! Think VISUAL!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

so much potential

he is so amazing. my one true love. everything I've ever wanted. extremely intelligent, self-aware, well-read, handsome, creative, curious, brave, loves the earth and hates the MAN.

there is so much potential. I want to scream to everyone how fantastic he is. show him off to the world! he's all that I could have ever asked for. right? we're almost to bliss, but he is holding himself back. from success.. ? holding us back?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Communication solves world problems?

This is similar to a post from December... but whatever.

Some say that money is the root of all evil. Some say that people are innately good.
Either way, I believe without a doubt that all problems in the world are due to
miscommunication. In some way or another, all wars, battles, arguments, and
judgments are based on some levels of man not understanding, or not trying to
understand, fellow man. Studying speech-language pathology (or "communication
therapy") has taught me a simple part of language that can have huge altercations-
Taking the listener's perspective. If we all could learn a little more about our
audiences, about the rationale of who that person/group of people is/are, the
world would be a better place. I am pursuing this field in hopes to one day, bridge
the gap between hearing and Deaf culture (which is wildly more fascinated and
alienated than I had ever realized).

Thursday, May 13, 2010

and we're back

Now that I have had a week break, I think I am back in a good mood. I've been sleeping about 9 hours a night and I am enjoying a life without SOAPs or lesson plans or children :-)

AND I've found a gold mine of cool ASL articles in the Sign Language Studies that Gallaudet publishes. Right now I am reading "Language and Literacy Acquisition through Parental Mediation in American Sign Language" (2009), but there are plenty more where that came from. [Email me if you want a copy... don't tell anyone where you got it!]

I was just thinking about how it can be a challenge to keep up with a conversation in a group of Deaf people. I mean, the conversation jumps so fast [::eyes move like you're watching a tennis match::]. It can be quite difficult to catch it all, and therefore difficult to stay in the conversation. I miss signs all the time (on top of the fact that I don't know all the signs), and it doesn't take much for me to get lost. And then today I found "Signs in Which Handshape and Hand Orientation Are Either Not Visible or Are Only Partially Visible: What Is the Consequence for Lexical Recognition?" (2009). Basically they found that handshape has the most salient information for comprehension of the message. Whoa, how awesome?

And I also saw, "Are You Getting the Message?: The Effects of SimCom on the Message Received by Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and Hearing Students" (2010). It basically found that SimCom does not produce equivalent messages to hearing and deaf students (as we knew), and that students do not receive equivalent messages (good to know).

I any event, I want all these articles to be in a book that I can read on the metro. Not me printing out 8.5x11 copies of everything. yuck. I need a kindle??

And in my career-oriented-confusion, true these things excite me and educate me, but they don't encourage me (not yet) to join the forces. While I think these studies are awesome and they are answering some truly curious questions, I really don't think I would want to pilot such a study. I am content on reading them.

Now if someone would just do a study about the hearing students' experiences at Gallaudet, I'd be satisfied. Though they do have published works regarding the Deaf President Now stuff. I'll read that too and let you know if it might be similar...

Sunday, May 2, 2010

CODAfied

Why are CODAs among the most fascinating? Man, I swear... bizarre...

A few beers later, and it's still so captivating. I'll try to convey this to you. It could be a blog post or a master's thesis... I could go on and on... here goes

CODA- child of Deaf adults (KODA = kid... ie, young person specifically...)

Anyway, here goes... and enough with the ellipses, huh?

In general, we need to first address bilingualism. KODAs are hypothetically learning both spoken English and signed American Sign Language (at least in this country). and of course, this depends on their exposure. But they are no ordinary bilingual. KODAs are learning two languages of two MODES of communication. WHAT?! Us hearing folk, when we want to learn ASL, it's a fascinating other language, foreign, yet domestic. Ok, gotta get the handshape, palm orientation, and body placement under my belt, but then, I'm good. The other way around, though, can be quite a challenge. Can you imagine if all your life you only used your hands stuck in mittens, and then you needed the fine motor skills to type a weblog entry fluently? I mean, a lot of people (KODAs or Deaf) will use a manual mode of communication as a primary mode of communication. Trying to learn a spoken language is beyond learning the language itself.

Semantics is only one piece of the puzzle. The English phonology is a whole different MODE than the ASL. For this reason, it may be a challenge to learn to speak English as a KODA. A soon-to-be-graduate in the speech-language pathology program at Gallaudet presented recently a case study about a CODA she worked with in the clinic. And it's true, she confirmed it for me, that children of Deaf adults are fascinating. Hearing kids of hearing parents-- some background for you, put very simply-- learn to speak by practicing different sounds. They babble up a storm, and they listen to themselves. They listen to their parents. Over time, they try to match their productions to their models (e.g., family, teachers, peers?, TV, etc...). Oral motor skills are acquired just as any fine motor skill... through practice... and eventual mastery.

Speech samples revealed that he would produce very inconsistent errors. Sometimes he would say a word this way, sometimes a different way... and rarely the correct way. The presenters example was with the word train. Instead, the KODA said "crane" or "wayne"... [I actually don't remember her examples. I made these up]. Now there are a lot of reasons for inconsistent errors. And the bottom line is that he is still learning how to produce it correctly. He makes his best attempt, and he waits for the ever-so-valuable feedback from the therapist to let him know if that sounded right or not.

Let me take a step back. Before any one learns how to produce speech, it's best to listen to how it's supposed to be produced. The presenter also pointed out some curious errors that may be representative of his ability to discriminate between English speech sounds. And ya know, that is a skill itself. Training your ear to hear the difference between sounds seems passive and natural, but in fact, it should be noted that this comes with work (and exposure!). And for some KODAs, this can also be a challenge. For this kid, he had difficulty understanding the name Colt. He responded "cold?" "No, ColTTTT." "Cold??" he replies, signing the COLD gloss simultaneously. And it's true, that /t/ and /d/ are acoustically similar. And it can be difficult to hear the difference. Just as it can be difficult for a Japanese speaker to discriminate between the English /r/ and /l/ (I've done some research. Ask me for references ;-).

Now moving from speech to language (they are not one and the same)- The KODA she presented on initially would just repeat what he heard. Practicing the model? Once they weaned him off of that, he would consistently produce 1-word utterances. This boy was about 3 years old, so he is expected to produce about 3-word utterances at that time (as other hearing kids typically do). Why, as speech and language therapy continued, was he still at 1-word utterances? One idea is rooted in ASL morphology. In ASL, true there are sign glosses (as they are called) which are kinda comparable to words. You put them together, and built meaning. True. But there is a lot more than that. Often, ASL includes such movements of the hands and body and face that are not exactly a sign themselves. So maybe this child is having trouble with this 1 word:1 morpheme idea? He frequently omitted what may be called "function words" like prepositions (e.g., in) and articles (e.g., the)... And there are no 1:1 corresponding ASL glosses for such English words.

So in the end. KODAs blow my mind. They learn two languages at once- aka simultaneous bilingualism. On the other hand, this really depends on the kid. It could be argued that some are sequential bilinguals (learning one language, then learning the other). Either way, they are fine tuning their oral motor skills and their audition skills. The two languages are different modes, and really, they don't follow the typical simultaneous bilingual patterns other children have who are learning two languages within the same mode (spoken). Intriguing. And don't get me wrong! A LOTTTT of KODAs get English down with no problems! The key is really exposure (and interaction). How can you expect to learn a language when you never encounter it?

I don't know what my real point is, but I want to just point out how complicated and awesome this is. Or sometimes is? sigh..

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

at the drop of a hat. one meeting. one email. one comment. one look is all it takes.
i want to go to sleep forever.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I've never been so preoccupied with how people perceive me

Never in my life.
It's interesting how I let almost beg others define me. I paid for it, in fact.

Here at graduate school (and in undergrad), we are studying people, essentially. We observe and elicit and provoke and manipulate. Our data, therefore, includes any and all observable behaviors.

And this is exactly how SLPs are judged successful or unsuccessful. Every bit of data counts... in order to increase reliability? I am constantly observed. Every aspect of my Gallaudet career is being watched and evaluated. In the clinic. In the classes. In the hallways... What I am wearing. My demeanor. My red eyes. My vernacular. All of these things are perceived by others. This is all they got to understand who I am. And I guess predict my successfulness in the field.

Now knowing all of this, can you understand a bit more how I need to live my life like Miss Perfect SLP Student? Which I don't. And I am more than aware of it. I am reminded daily.

I have never in my life been so preoccupied with how people perceive me. I am fake with some supervisors. I need to be. I need to show a happy, confident, pro-active student, though I don't think I am a good actress. I am not a different person with the students, but I try to be around the staff and faculty (save one who I am totaly real with). I watch my comments depending on who is around. Act sociable and lively. Act motivated and knowledgable. Can I act insightful... if only.

Before this year, I didn't care much what people thought of me (though I never experienced anyone who detested me). I wore what I liked, expressed myself how I wanted, enjoyed casual, informal discussion of abstract and stupid rhetoric. But now? I miss my old life. Every day I want it to be the weekend. Which isn't all that different. Locked in my room in my pjs.

Friday, March 19, 2010

the slp student's dilemna

it's kinda like if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask for a glass of milk.
if you go off to medical school, you'll likely become a hypochondriac.
if you go off to slp school, you'll likely over-assess your speech and language.

i think i have a learning disability
http://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/LBLD.htm#two

Saturday, February 13, 2010

I think it looks great on paper.... in theory it's perfect.

But in reality... every week I think how it's not.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

"A cheap person will be cheap with his feelings"

Says my aunt. (We were talking about her several ex's, not about Kevin, but I will go into this later.)

I respect my aunt very much; she has been through a lot in her life, but she doesn't know what she is talking about. Of course the first question when she learned I had a boyfriend (thanks, Dad, for keeping the Israelis up to date on my life), was about his religion. And anything but "Jewish" is the wrong answer, naturally. Then it went on to "How do your parents feel about this?" Ugh. And "How do you feel about this?" which I can't answer in a sentence. I told her I love him. That's the easy answer. I obviously wouldn't be with him now if it was my #1 priority. And I think I can say that the ONLY reason it would EVER be a #1 priority is so that I can answer these questions from various family members with less anxiety... in which case, I would be doing it for so many OTHER people, but not for myself... which I do not agree with.

She responded with "Love isn't everything." She doesn't know what she is talking about. She told my mom and I a story ("Michelle, pay attention") about her first love, who wasn't ready for marriage, but her mother was encouraging her for marriage, and he went off to school and then more school in Italy, and meanwhile she married and had a kid before she say him again. And still today when/if she sees him (maybe a few times since then), her heart sinks. She wonders what would be if she had married him. And I hear that he wonders too. And I hear that regret is an awful feeling.

Apparently she feels better off. Because he is cheap. And she hears his current marriage is having troubles because he is too cheap. Maybe something is lost in translation? I vote that they don't know what love is. Call me a romantic (Srav is rubbing off on me!), but I believe that love conquers all. If you love someone, who loves you, other problems will find solutions. You will work through differences. You will overcome life's struggles. blabhlah. No doubt in my mind.

I also recently learned of a good person in a sour marriage. Basically her husband took away her car, cell, and credit cards for what seems to be no reason (I want to acknowledge my bias source and limited information!). She is stuck at home with 3 children now, while he works. What if there is an emergency? I am not sure of her spending habits previously, but I don't think these actions are leading to an equal relationship, but rather a totalitarian authority. And she stays with him because she loves him. Does she? Does she just love having a husband? Does she just feel stable and comfortable with him, which I will have you all know is part of, but not the only components of true love. (Does she feel stable and comfortable at all?)

Ugh. I say "ugh" to these talks of love! I hate to say it, but as much as I love my family, they do not know me well. What is important to me, what I value and savor and cherish and care for... I do not talk openly about myself... I listen... but perhaps opening my mouth is the only way to increase understanding. I DO preach that communication is key! Emerson, as I always reference, said it is ok to be a hypocrite.



Honestly, I miss Kevin more now than ever. Seeing him once a month is killing me.
Less than 2 weeks!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Holy Land

I am going to upload a recording tonight, interpreting the videos for the ASL-impaired... (my ASL sucks, and I blame it on almost 2 weeks of limited ASL exposure!)

Driving from the airport to the hotel- night #1.1


ps- hit the audio recording for (shitty) interpretation first, then hit play to see hear it overlap the video.
pps- not only is my ASL falling behind, but also, it is extremely hard for an ASL student to sign with one hand.... good luck understanding this one. Hopefully the later ones will improve after I get used to signing again.


The view from the hotel!- night #1.2



Hot water heaters- night #1.3